Bridging Compassion | Tranquil Touch Pet Aquamation Connecticut &The Everafter Collective

Exploring What It Means to Care—at the End of Life

As an emergency veterinarian, I’ve spent countless nights beside families facing heartbreaking decisions for their pets. Each goodbye reminds me that love and loss are inseparable, and that even in endings, there is room for tenderness, meaning, and choice.

When I met Kathleen Gallacher, a death doula and founder of The Everafter Collective in Carlsbad, California, I was immediately struck by how closely her work mirrored ours in veterinary end-of-life care.

I’d heard of birth doulas before but never a death doula. I was deeply curious. Kathleen helps people and families navigate the human end-of-life experience with compassion, clarity, and calm. As I learned more about her work, I realized how parallel our paths are two professions guiding peaceful transitions for those we love, whether animal or human.

Death Doula Kathleen Gallacher

What Is a Death Doula?

Emotional and Practical Guidance at the End of Life

Kathleen explained that a death doula (or end-of-life doula) provides non-medical support before, during, and after death. She offers both emotional and practical guidance, helping people plan ahead, sit vigil, create rituals, and find steadiness in moments that can feel overwhelming.

Complementing Medical Care with Presence and Calm

Her role isn’t about replacing medical care, it complements it. She bridges the emotional space between families and providers, ensuring that people understand what’s happening and feel supported through it.

Kathleen describes her work as “bringing love and death back together.” It’s about creating space for honest conversation and gentle presence, helping families remember that death, like birth, is part of life’s natural rhythm.

“My goal is always to bring steadiness, compassion, and meaning to a time that can otherwise feel overwhelming.”— Kathleen Gallacher, The Everafter Collective

Parallels Between Human and Veterinary End-of-Life Care

Listening to Kathleen, I couldn’t help but think of the many pet families I’ve supported as they said goodbye. In veterinary emergency and palliative care, we often meet people on one of the hardest days of their lives.

When a pet passes, we do everything possible to make it peaceful and dignified, soft lighting, quiet voices, familiar blankets, and unhurried presence. Many families tell us, “I wish it could be this gentle for people.”

Kathleen’s work shows that it can be. While human medicine follows different rules and timelines, the heart of her practice mirrors what I’ve always hoped for both species: a calm, supported, and intentional farewell.

Why Conversations Like This Matter

Kathleen shared something that resonated deeply with me- end-of-life planning shouldn’t start only after a diagnosis.

Just as we encourage pet owners to discuss palliative care options early, she encourages families to talk about wishes, values, and comfort long before a crisis.

Planning ahead doesn’t erase sadness, but it does bring meaning and calm to what might otherwise feel chaotic.

That’s something we both share, Kathleen through human hospice and guidance, and me through Tranquil Touch, our upcoming pet aquamation service in Western Connecticut.

Both of us believe that how we care for the body after death matters, not just practically, but symbolically. Whether through aquamation or ritual, both processes honor nature, continuity, and gentleness.

About The Everafter Collective

Founded by: Kathleen Gallacher

Services Offered

End-of-life planning, bedside support, legacy and ritual creation, coordination with hospice and medical providers, and post-death guidance.

Where She Serves

Carlsbad, California, serving San Diego County and beyond. Virtual sessions available anywhere.

Contact Kathleen

Kathleen@theeveraftercollective.com | (858) 401-6174

Kathleen’s mission is to help families meet death with grace not fear and to reconnect love and death as inseparable parts of the human experience.

A Shared Mission: Gentle Transitions in Pet Aftercare

At Tranquil Touch, we bring that same spirit of compassion to pet end-of-life care through aquamation—a gentle, water-based alternative to cremation.

Pet Aquamation Connecticut: A Gentle, Water-Based Farewell

Aquamation uses warm water and natural alkali to return the body to its elemental form. It’s flame-free, eco-friendly, and beautifully symbolic: a return to nature through water.

Shared Values of Compassion and Sustainability

Both Kathleen’s work and mine reflect a growing shift, from fear and avoidance toward mindfulness, sustainability, and reverence. Whether we serve people or pets, our purpose is the same: to help families feel supported, informed, and at peace.

Closing Reflection

Meeting Kathleen reminded me that death work, in all its forms, is life work. It’s about connection, tenderness, and creating meaning in moments that might otherwise feel unbearable.

Her work with The Everafter Collective gives families permission to slow down, talk openly, and approach death not as a failure but as a natural, sacred transition.

And as I continue building Tranquil Touch Pet Aquamation in Connecticut, an eco-friendly, water-based alternative to cremation, I’m honored to carry that same compassion forward; for the animals we love, and for the people who love them.

— Dr. Anna Simpson Evans, DVM

Emergency Veterinarian & Founder, Tranquil Touch Pet Aquamation

Western Connecticut | www.petaquamationconnecticut.com | TranquilTouchCT@gmail.com

Full Interview with Kathleen Gallacher of The Everafter Collective

After our conversation for this feature, I invited Kathleen to share more about her journey and her work with The Everafter Collective. What follows is her thoughtful reflection on how she came to this calling, what she offers as a death doula, and how compassion, planning, and presence can transform the end-of-life experience.

1. How did you learn about death doulas, and what led you to choose this profession?

My first understanding of death doulas came through what I already knew about birth doulas. I thought of it as two sides of the same coin: one helping bring life into the world, the other helping someone leave it. I knew the term, but I didn’t really understand what the work looked like in practice.

If you’d told me five years ago that this would become my path, I probably would have laughed. But a few things lined up in a way that felt impossible to ignore. One night I was cooking dinner, listening to Anderson Cooper’s podcast All There Is. He was talking with someone who called themselves a “death coach,” and I just stopped what I was doing. I felt a pull deep in my gut and thought, “Okay, I’m paying attention.”

Not long after that, my uncle died, and I found myself walking through the experience with my family. Around that time, I started researching what it means to be a death doula and realized it combined everything that mattered to me- helping people, honest conversations about things we often avoid, and creating more connection and peace in really hard moments. It felt like a calling, not a career.

In some ways, this work has always been part of me. When I was six, after my grandpa died suddenly, I wrote in my journal, “But love and death is part of life.” I found that journal recently, and it stopped me in my tracks. Somehow, even then, I understood something that I’ve spent my adult life returning to; that love and death are inseparable parts of being human.

We talk about love constantly. It fills our songs, movies, and conversations. It feels safe, expected, and celebrated. But death? That’s the topic we avoid at all costs, even though it’s the one experience we’re all guaranteed to share.

This work, for me, is about bringing those two things back together-love and death- and helping people see that they’ve always been part of the same story.

2. For someone unfamiliar with what a death doula offers, what benefits do you provide for your clients?

A death doula, sometimes called an end-of-life doula, offers non-medical support before, during, and after death. My work bridges the emotional and the practical, helping people and their loved ones find meaning, comfort, and steadiness throughout the process.

The word doula comes from the Greek term meaning “one who serves,” and that’s really at the heart of what I do. My role is to serve whatever needs arise for the person who is dying and their circle of support. Sometimes that means emotional or spiritual companionship, and other times it’s more practical- walking the dog, getting groceries, or watering the plants. I’m there to meet people where they are and offer grounded, compassionate help in whatever form it’s needed.

I help people plan ahead, ideally before a diagnosis or crisis. End-of-life planning is one of the most loving gifts you can give to yourself and to your family. It creates clarity and peace of mind so that when the time comes, everyone knows what matters most to you. Together, we talk through your wishes, values, and priorities, and I guide you through the process of documenting them through tools like advance directives, health care proxies, or memorial preferences.

When someone is nearing the end of life, my role shifts toward presence and support. I help families and individuals create spaces that feel calm and intentional. That might mean developing a vigil plan, sitting bedside so no one has to die alone, or helping to design rituals and legacy projects that reflect who the person truly is. Families often describe this time together as more peaceful and connected, even amid grief.

I also help coordinate care. That might include communicating with hospice, palliative care teams, and family members to make sure everyone is aligned around comfort, priorities, and environment. I help organize practical details like hospice intake, equipment setup, family schedules, or after-death logistics so no one feels like they’re carrying it all alone.

At its heart, my work is about creating space for love and clarity to coexist. Whether we’re talking about planning years in advance, sitting vigil, or navigating the first hours after a death, my goal is always to bring steadiness, compassion, and meaning to a time that can otherwise feel overwhelming.

How do you, as a death doula, interact with and integrate with medical providers?

As a non-medical support person, I act as a bridge between the family and the medical team. I grew up in a medical household-my late stepdad was a surgeon, and my mom is an RN- so I’ve always understood how that world works and how to ask good questions.

Now, I use that background to help my clients feel informed and supported. I make sure the person and their family understand their options and know what to expect. I help them clarify their care goals, ask questions, and advocate for what matters most to them. I often work alongside hospice nurses, doctors, and caregivers to keep everyone aligned and communicating.

I’m not there to make medical decisions, but I am there to make sure the person and their family understand what’s happening and that they feel seen, heard, and guided through the process.

4. When is the right time to consult with a death doula about your or a family member’s wishes?

Honestly, there’s no wrong time- it’s never too early and it’s never too late.

In my opinion, the best time for end-of-life planning is before you need it. When you’re healthy and clear-headed, you can take your time to think about what matters most, make intentional choices, and have honest conversations without pressure or fear.

Following a terminal diagnosis, a death doula can also be incredibly helpful. This is often a time when there are a lot of questions, emotions, and decisions to navigate. I help people understand what to expect, explore their options, and create a care plan that reflects their values and priorities. It’s about bringing steadiness and clarity to a time that can otherwise feel uncertain or overwhelming.

For bedside support, it really depends on the situation. Sometimes the dying person brings me in to help them navigate their own process or to support their family. Sometimes it’s the family who calls because they need guidance in those final days or weeks.

And sometimes I’m invited in after a death, when the logistics of loss can feel beyond overwhelming. In those early stages of grief, I’m there to help steady things, to offer guidance, support, and a sense of calm as you navigate what comes next.

5. As an emergency veterinarian, I often hear people say during the euthanasia process of their pet that they wish it was “this easy” for people. What would you say to those people?

I’ve heard that too, and I completely understand and agree with the feeling. Watching a pet’s peaceful passing can make you wish the same compassion and ease existed for people. The truth is, in some places, it actually does.

Medical Aid in Dying (MAID) is currently available in ten U.S. states and Washington, D.C. It allows terminally ill adults to make the choice to end their suffering on their own terms. It’s not the same as euthanasia because it’s the individual who administers the medication themselves, but it offers a similar sense of peace and autonomy.

Even when MAID isn’t an option, there are still ways to have a gentler, more supported death. Hospice care is one of the most compassionate resources available. It’s covered for up to six months under Medicare, but most people only use it for an average of about 17 days, which means they miss out on the full benefit. Hospice offers pain and symptom management, emotional and spiritual support, and resources for families that can make a profound difference in quality of life.

And of course, having a death doula can make a big difference too. We help reduce confusion, ease the emotional weight, and create more space for love and connection. Death doesn’t have to be cold, clinical, or frightening. With the right care, it can be calm, meaningful, and deeply supported.

Closing Thoughts

Kathleen’s work reminds us that love and loss are inseparable, and that gentleness, presence, and preparation can make every goodbye more meaningful. At Tranquil Touch Pet Aquamation, we share that same commitment to compassion and clarity, offering families in Connecticut a gentle, water-based alternative to traditional cremation.

Whether you’re supporting a loved one or saying farewell to a beloved pet, conversations like these invite us to slow down, honor life’s natural cycles, and choose care that reflects both love and respect.

If you’d like to learn more about eco-friendly pet aftercare or aquamation services in Connecticut, visit our contact page page—or reach out to us directly at TranquilTouchCT@gmail.com.